Random Interviews
by las184
Summary: Like what it's the title says, it's random interviews with the BLEACH cast on random things. Seventh Chapter: Ikkaku and Yumichika!
1. Kurosaki Ichigo

To fall in love?

That really isn't my thing.

I don't think I've ever had a crush before since my kindergarten days. Women don't really appeal to me.

And ever since Rukia stepped into my life, I really, _really_ find women annoying.

Because of her, I don't look at any women as something more than 'just a friend'. I guess I owe her one. That's good.

There are a few women/girls (besides my sisters, of course) who I am pretty close to: Rukia, Tatsuki, Inoue, Rukia... Hey, wait. Didn't I say her name already? They are _all _my friends, okay? Get that in your head!

Anyway, back to the main topic. Love, eh? Isn't love supposed to be a complicated thing, and comes from the unexpected or something? I mean, I seriously doubt myself to fall in love. Of course, I'll have to get married _some_day but that day is still years away. I want to finish school first, go to a good college, get a good job and so on and so forth.

And I really hope that this Shinigami business of mine will be over. I hate having to wake up in the dead of night for a Hollow call. Rukia gets all worked up when I get up a little slowly and I have to suffer her punches (which, surprisingly for a girl her size, is pretty damn strong).

I hate her at times.

But she has her moments. Kind, sweet moments are rare from someone like Rukia, but I get to witness it occasionally. She's quite gentle actually (such a contrast to the devil she is when she is in rage). Whenever she heals me, she takes it seriously and does it well.

I am grateful for that, or I'd be suffering daily from various bleeding and sores.

Oh, we're diverting again. Love, right. Wait. Why are we talking about it in the first place? Jeez, aren't there any better questions?

Fine, fine. I don't think I'll fall in love, not right now. But - what? WHAT? No way! Rukia is nothing but my friend! Get it right. She's just my friend.

Huh? What she likes to do? Well, she claims to be 'artistic', which is really not the case. Come on, her drawings of little, cute objects just gets on my nerves. And that Chappy Bunny she worships ... (shiver) I really can't stand it. Whenever she sees some Chappy thing, she'd just suddenly have this twinkle in her eye, coo at it and then put on a puppy face just so I have to fork out some cash to buy it for her.

She's annoying.

Hmm? Yeah, she laughs. Everyone does. That's a stupid question..

Yeah, she doesn't show much of her true self in public, but she has a nice laugh. Her smiles are...hmm, how do I say it... bright? A genuine smile from Rukia can really help if you're feeling a little too angry or depressed. It's nice.

I don't know. I guess if she wants to go somewhere, I bring her if I'm up to it. She usually tags along if I go somewhere. She seems to like it here on Earth, which is good. She should enjoy the place while she can.

She has gotten hurt before in one Hollow fight or the other. But she's a strong woman. She gets through anything, and if I try to help her, she usually snaps at me that she can handle it herself. I still end up helping her. That woman can get real cocky at times. She knows she doesn't have her powers back yet, and she's determined to make through the fight without my help. If she does get hurt, I'll be the one who feels guilty. She _was _the one who lent her powers to me, so it is sorta my duty to protect her from harm until she regains all her powers back. That stuff's a little...complicated.

Of course I know a lot about her! She lives in my cupboard, for God's sake! How can I _not _know a lot about her?

Yeah, yeah. Shut up about that already. Any other questions, 'cause I have to go.

Inoue? What about her? Again, she's a friend. I like her that way only.

Don't be getting any wrong ideas.

Wh-why are you asking me that? (shifts uncomfortably) I don't look at other peoples, _especially women, _body parts! That is so like Kon, that perverted thing.

Why should I answer that? That's a ridiculous question! You're really a perv, you know? Ugh.

Stop bugging me about it! I won't answer! Nananananananananana! I can't hear yoouuu-

OUCH! WHAT THE HELL?

F-fine! I'll answer the damn question already! (gulps) I-I am _not _interested i-in a woman's body, okay? I'd rather she was a strong-willed person with brains and attitude. She doesn't have to be 'big' anywhere!

Inoue? Yeah, she's smart, but she's sorta...I don't know how to put it...Okay, to put it simply, she's not like Rukia.

Crap.

XXX

**A/N: I just get a laugh rereading this thing. I wrote it early in the year, I think, but never thought of putting it up. I don't quite remember how it came about, but I think it was either a dream I had or just some random thought floating in my head. I did write down the 'main theme' of it in my book, and it says: 'To fall in love? That is not me. I hope not.' It is, of course, in Ichigo's perspective.**

**Naah! Totally random stuff. Hope you liked it. Review if you want.**

**P.S. I guess I will be doing this occasionally, random interviews with the BLEACH cast. If you've got a character you want to see interviewed, tell me. If you want a specific question to be asked, tell me as well! Though please don't expect it to be answered like what you want it. The answers for those questions would be up to me!**

**Or if you want it to be more exciting, give me a poem or something like that and let's see what I come up with!**

**() ()**

**( *-* )**

**-another Chappy-**


	2. Kuchiki Byakuya

**Interview with the head of the Kuchiki Clan, Kuchiki Byakuya!**

**Timeline: After Rukia's execution, before the Arrancar Invasion**

**XXX**

An interview? What for?

Fun? I do not do things for 'fun'. (walks away)

What is it? You are getting on my nerves.

... Fine. I will answer only a few questions.

Kurosaki Ichigo? What I think of him?

...

An arrogant brat.

Yes, I admit..he did save Rukia. I am.._grateful _to him for it.

He is just a pest in my eyes. That is that.

Surprisingly, he did. Though I cannot believe that a Bankai could be that small.

Yes. His speed in Bankai is..annoyingly fast. I suppose even _that woman's _speed could not match his.

Kurosaki and Rukia? What of them?

...

If that _brat _tries to court her, I will eliminate him.

There have been people..talking of them. There have been no rumors of any scandalous behavior between them. If there were, I would have sought out Kurosaki and seen to him.

I have never asked Rukia before, but I will be doing so when I see her.

Hisana?

She was a good wife and woman.

I will answer no more questions concerning her.

Yes, Kurosaki is the second person to see Senbonzakura in its true form, Senkei Senbonzakura Kageyoshi.

The first person? He was truly an annoying man, just like the brat, Kurosaki. But you need not know about him.

Smile? Do I smile?

...

(Shunpo-es away)

Interviewer: (state of disbelief)

**XXX**

**A/N: Ahaha. I found the last part amusing.**

**I like Byakuya. I really do wonder what he thinks about Ichigo and Rukia. **


	3. Ichimaru Gin

**INTERVIEW WITH EX-CAPTAIN OF THIRD COMPANY, ICHIMARU GIN!**

**TIMELINE: SOME TIME BEFORE THE FINAL BATTLE**

**SETTING: LAS NOCHES**

_**Hello, Ichimaru-taichou!**_

Oh, hello!

_**We're doing interviews of the BLEACH cast, so we thought of doing you. Is that okay?**_

An interview? Sure, why not? There's really nothing much to do here anyway...

_**How are you?**_

I'm fine, thank you! And you?

_**I'm fine.**_

Aa, that's good.

_**So, what's it like being the one of the Heads of the Hollow World?**_

Being one of the Heads is really hard work, but I have my fun at times.

_**Fun? How?**_

Watching the others, of course! Isn't that fun? (tilts head to the side)

_**Uhh, okay... So, what do you think of Aizen.**_

Aizen-taichou keeps everyone in check. He's calm and all and rarely gets mad at us. The other day, when Grimmjow returned from illegally going into the Living World, Aizen-taichou didn't give any punishment to him. Only Tosen-taichou was overreacting... Poor Grimmjow. He got his arm ripped off by Tosen-taichou... (laughs nervously)

_**O-okay... Next, do you miss third company?**_

Third company? Hmm...maybe...

_**What do you think of Las Noches?**_

Las Noches is really... ... ... ... ... ...sandy.

_**Oh, yeah! Definitely.**_

It's annoying because whenever I go out, it always gets in my eyes! (frowns)

_**...Your eyes? ... Uh, okay! Why are you compared to a snake?**_

Eh? Don't I look like one a little?

_**Uhh... A-and don't you ever stop smiling? You look so cheerful!**_

(grins some more)

_**Okay.. I've heard some people say that you're a little creepy because of the smiling and all.**_

(frowns a little) That's not very nice...

_**H-hey! You've got a small segment at the end of the BLEACH anime right? What's it called?**_

Oh! The Arrancar Encyclopedia! It's a really fun job! ...though a little painful...

_**What do you do?**_

I just basically tell more about the Arrancars and Espadas. We've had Tosen-taichou, Haribel and Ulquiorra on it, during their Resurrección forms.

_**What do you like about the show?**_

Hmm... I like it because it's mine and I don't have to share with anyone else! Hahaha! BLEACH mainly revolves around Ichigo-kun and Co., so I don't really get to appear all that much... which is sad...

But recently, they shut down the show! I didn't even get to hold a farewell episode or something like that! ...it's sad... I miss it already...

_**Oh! Looks like we've gotta run! T-thanks, Ichimaru-taichou!**_

Oh... I want my show back...

XXX

**A/N: Oh God... I tried editing it, but it still stayed the same.. Gin is a pretty hard character to get into his head. It's okay... not the best, but I hope you enjoy it! Hehe **

**Written by request from **

**BTW, I honestly tried to put something about Rangiku in it, 'cause I love the chemistry between Gin and Rangiku, but I couldn't find a suitable place in the interview.**


	4. Kuchiki Rukia

**INTERVIEW WITH KUCHIKI RUKIA, ICHIGO'S SAVIOR! (Just kidding! ... Or am I?) **

**TOPIC: ICHIGO**

Huh? Ichigo? What about him?

Hehe.. Say something about him huh...

He's a stupid, reckless, annoying, orange-headed idiot who _never_ uses his head to think before acting and who _always _annoys the hell out of me for doing stupid things he shouldn't be doing!

That's what I think about him.

Oh, yes. He is annoying at _all _times. He never listens, he _always _shuts me up saying 'Your opinions are always rejected' and then just fights and fights the enemies even after I tell him not to! I think he purposely does those things just to grate on my nerves and make me worry.. Tch.

And that would lead to us having a quarrel that would seem meaningless to anybody watching, but to us, it's like a lifeline or something. We have to dominate the other and make sure we win. I usually win, anyway. Ichigo sucks at quarreling with me, I don't know why he even bothers.

Hmph. Men.

He is strong, much stronger than when I first met him. It's amazing, actually, how he developed so fast. I wouldn't admit it to him, but it's impressive. Defeating captain-class Shinigami is almost like an... honor of some sort, not to mention him attaining his Bankai. His name will forever be remembered by the Soul Society.

... Sure, I suppose.. Ichigo's got his nice moments..

Examples? Must I? Really?

Fine... Well.. hmm, let's see... I guess his strongest, most prominent nice feature would be his desire to protect. He might've said during his early Shinigami days that he won't be willing to give his life to strangers, but look at him now. He'll go protecting anyone if he could. (soft smile)

Other things... Mm... Ichigo could be a softie, actually. He's gentle at times, different from his brash side. He might usually act like a punk (not that he isn't one) but he's a kind person. I can only sum it up to this: he even helps his _enemies_. That's how kind he is.

Weird, but kind.

A soft spot? For Ichigo? You have got to be kidding me.

I don't act that way! Mushy and gentle words? (shiver) I _never _say those kind of things, _especially _not to the fool! Tender words will never get into that thick skull of his. You've got to be a little rough with him, give him a good kick at times.

(sigh) He and I know each other well, so I guess we can understand each other better than most people. After knowing him that way, some ... fondness... would.. _maybe_... get to you... (fidgets a little, seems flustered)

WHAT? I NEVER SAID SUCH A THING! DON'T GO MAKING UP STORIES OF YOUR OWN!

STOP SAYING THAT! I DO _NOT _LIKE ICHIGO _THAT _WAY!

I'M DONE TALKING! GOODBYE!

...

Would you stop asking me? And _why _are you following me? Go away! Shoo!

(suddenly...)

Rukia? Is something the matter?

Oh! Nii-sama! (bows quickly)

Who is this?

...

Weren't you the one who came to me, asking me for an interview? What are you doing tailing Rukia? (eyes coldly at interviwer)

Interviewer: (flees)

XXX

**A/N: Right! Finally got Rukia's done! I actually wanted to do hers like a general conversation thing and hit a major writer's block for it! So, I decided to just get straight to the point and just talk about Ichigo with her. And I got a review anyway asking for Rukia talking about Ichigo, so... (shrug) It's easier done this way. :)**

**Thanks for reading! I've done a Grimmjow interview some time ago and I think I'll put that up next time I update. **

**To the reviewers who had suggested something****: I think I'll definitely do something about Aizen. I also think a joint interview of Hisagi and Kira would be good, but all this might take a while. As for Nnoitora... I'll have to think about him. I know who he is and all, but it might be hard for me 'cause I don't quite know his character. **

**Please keep in mind that I can't do all characters that have been suggested, so please don't get upset or something if the character you want interviewed doesn't make an appearance. I apologize for it!**


	5. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

**INTERVIEW WITH THE ONE AND ONLY, GRIMMJOW JEAGERJAQUES, THE SIXTH ESPADA**

**TIMELINE: AROUND THE TIME BEFORE ICHIGO'S FINAL BATTLE WITH AIZEN**

What's this? An interview? What for?

Hey! Don't just jump into the questions without me agreeing to it!

Tch. Fine. But try anything funny... (pulls out his sword slightly)

Are those fools my Fracciones? You could say that.

Shawlong is like my Lieutenant, I suppose. He keeps the other three in check.

I find them all annoying. Sometimes, I don't need them and they still tag along like lost pups! Tch.

Being one of the smaller Adjuchas doesn't deter me! I have always had the element of Destruction in me. No Adjucha wants to revert back into a Gillian, none! You had to survive, no matter what. But one day, those idiots wanted to give up but it didn't matter to me if they did. They were weak in my eyes to want to go back as Gillians. I told the fools to regress if they wanted, I didn't care.

Aizen is... A ***BEEP* **ANNOYING LEADER WHO DESERVES TO ***BEEP*** DIE! That man is way to ***BEEP* **ambitious and I ***BEEP* **HOPE HE DIES! Not all of us like that ***BEEP*** ***BEEP* **I-Must-Turn-Into-Shinigami-and-Hollow freak who only cares for his ***BEEP* **ass! He doesn't even care for his subordinates who do all in their power for HIS ***BEEP* **CAUSE!

FINALLY! I've gotten it all out!

Yeah, like Aizen will hear me. He's probably too busy perfecting his stupid Hollow-Shinigami form to fight Ichigo.

Not that I have anything against Hollow-Shinigami forms. They come in real handy actually, these Shinigami powers. It's cool to have a sword. (pulls out sword and strokes it)

My sword's name is Pantera, Spanish for 'Panther'. I just realized that I'm not the only one with a sword based on an animal of some sort. Ulquiorra's (grits teeth) is a bat and Haribel's a shark. Would that have made Ulquiorra (grits teeth again) a bat during his Adjucha days and Haribel a shark? I mean, I was a panther in my Adjucha days. What about them? (suddenly laughs) Imagine Ulquiorra a tiny bat, with little bat wings and big ears and all! (continues laughing)

(stops laughing, clears throat) Yeah, my fight with Ichigo. (glares) What about it?

Oh, I disappeared. Yes, nobody knows where.

Why should I tell you? It's none of your business!

Aah! This is getting annoying. Get out or I'll kill you.

Interviwer: (trembles and runs off)

XXX

**A/N: LOL! I'm laughing at the thought of Ulquiorra as a bat! It's so cute (in my head anyway)!**

**No offense to Ulquiorra-fans. I like Ulquiorra too, but not as much as Grimmjow. XD**

**BTW, the part where Grimmjow says the Aizen part 'I-Must-Turn-Into-Shinigami-and-Hollow', he's putting on a deeper voice to mimic Aizen. You have to think it like that.**


	6. Hisagi Shuhei and Kira Izuru

**INTERVIEW WITH HISAGI SHUHEI (ASST. CAPT. NINTH COMPANY) AND KIRA IZURU (ASST. CAPT. THIRD COMPANY)!**

**TIMELINE: JUST AFTER AIZEN'S BETRAYAL**

**NOTE: **

… – **INTERVIEWER **

normal **– HISAGI / KIRA**

Ou, Kira. Look at that.

What is it, Hisagi-san?

Hey, you there! Who are you?

...

Interviewer, you say? What for?

...

And you're not gonna interview us?

Hisagi-san... Is this really a good time for that?

Ahah! See, Kira. Interviewers will always have time for us!

Kira & Interviewer: (laugh and sweatdrop)

Right! On to the questions, Interviewer! Go on.

...

Without Tosen-taichou around, it's quite hectic in ninth company. But everyone there is good. And most of the people there work for the Soul Society Bulletin. Being the Head Editor, it's quite a hard job managing the bulletin _and _the company.

But you're doing a great job, Hisagi-san.

Ah, no. I'm not.

But you are! Everyone's getting their subscriptions right on time and ninth company is perfectly under control. So, you're doing a fine job.

Ahaha, Kira! You flatter me.

Hehehe...

...

Well, the Soul Society Bulletin is a monthly newsletter basically just getting news about going-ons in the Soul Society and fresh scoops on latest things to get and hot gossips. It's really fun making it!

…

Let's see. We've got news about the Thirteen Court Guards, and the Captains and Assistant Captains send in stories for the newsletter, which ranges from love stories to etiquettes. It's interesting. And recently, we've published news about the _ryoka _invasion. Of course, we couldn't really get official interviews with the _ryoka. _We _tried, _but –

The _ryoka _were convalescing and Unohana-taichou told Hisagi-san not to bother them.

(Shiver) Yeah… Unohana-taichou can be a scary woman…

Yeah, you can subscribe too, I guess. But if you live in the Living World, then you might get your magazine a little later.

...

Oh... Ichimaru-taichou isn't around anymore... It's kinda hard managing third company because they all love and respect Ichimaru-taichou... With him gone, and not only that, him betraying us all, they take out their anger pretty much everywhere... like, me, for example...

Oi, Kira! (takes Kira's shoulders and shakes him) Get a hold of yourself!

...

You better hope so! Kira goes into these weird trances whenever he talks about his captain. If he goes on and on, I'm blaming this on you and making sure you set him right!

I'm fine, Hisagi-san... I think..

Oi, Kira! If you don't snap out of this, I'm not bringing you out drinking!

What? Oh, sure! When are we going?

Well, Rangiku-san invited me to go out tonight. I heard Madarame could be joining her. And you know Asegawa would tag along wherever Madarame goes.

...

Yeah, Rangiku-san frequently asks us to go out for some _sake_ with her.

Though she always puts the tab on us...

It's gentlemanly to always pay for the lady!

You know your paycheck's not getting any bigger, Hisagi-san...

H-hey!

...

It is fun to go drinking with Rangiku-san. Sometimes, she and I share similar thoughts and we'd rave on and on about it... like about -

Don't say it, Kira.

Ichi- Ee.. Okay...

...

There's this place somewhere near the centre of Seireitei that we like to go to. Rangiku-san found it by chance and said the bar's great!

So, we tagged along one day.

The _sake_ there was awesome!

It was, it was.

...

Rangiku-san, huh? She's a nice lady.

K-Kira! She's more than nice!

Really? (seems confused)

She's a woman of incredible power and talent, with a fun side everyone loves -

Except Hitsugaya-taichou.. He always complains that Rangiku-san never does her paperwork..

Hey, don't cut me! Anyways, she's also bubbly, bright, beautiful and big - !

Interviewer: Ohh!

(sudden random nosebleed from Hisagi, sudden fainting)

Hisagi-saan! Hey! Wake up!

(while Kira tries to shake Hisagi awake, interviewer slinks away, smirking, thinking of the new gossip for his own bulletin)

XXX

**A/N: Sorry I haven't been updating in a while. But here is the next interview session! Doing Hisagi and Kira was fun! I think they're funny characters, especially Hisagi when it comes to Rangiku. LOL Hisagi-nosebleeds are hilarious when I see it!**

**BTW, just to pick up on my last author's note (Grimmjow's interview), the part I mentioned about Ulquiorra being a bat as an Adjucha. In the new character book, UNMASKED, there is a short oneshot about Ulquiorra as an Adjucha. He was NOT a tiny bat. Yes, he sorta looked bat-like, but he was not tiny. It was pretty cool. It would have been cooler if I could understand what I was reading… At the end was a part about Inoue's captivity 'cause Ulq is her 'caretaker' (can't think of a better word). I was practically squealing 'cause he was sitting on what looked like a bed, just shaking his head or something? Can't quite remember. He was, like.. being normal-ish. I don't know how to say it but it was cute. I wanted to get it, but A) it's in Japanese. I would barely understand a thing. B) my dad won't let me get it 'cause it's in Japanese. **

**And, if anyone knows the English release dates of VIBEs and MASKED (Official Animation Book and Official Character Book 2 respectively), please tell me! I'm getting freakin' desperate!**

**And won't Kubo-san release another Art Book? There's so many BLEACH pictures I want to see in a nice compiled book with full color and is enlarged! **


	7. Madarame Ikkaku and Asegawa Yumichika

Aaaaahhh!

What's wrong, Ikkaku?

INTRUDER! (pulls out sword)

Oh! Relax, Ikkaku. That's the interviewer for some bulletin in the Living World. He's got special permission to be here.

Really? I don't believe you. Hey! You there! Yes, you. Who are you and what are you doing here in the Soul Society? You don't even look dead.

I told you, he's an interviewer from the _LIVING _World...

…

Really? Where's your pass? The Soutaichou must have given you a pass of some sort.

…

Huh. Okay, fine. Let's go, Yumichika.

Why? I want to be interviewed!

Well, I don't want to.

Ikkaku! Come on, don't be a spoil sport! See, he's agreed to interview us!

You can do it yourse-! OII! YUMICHIKA!

Okay! We're ready ~ 3

Let go of me!

…

Hmm…Let's see… I usually follow Ikkaku around just to keep an eye on him but I like… BEAUTIFUL THINGS!

What has that got to do with following me around?

I cannot stand ugly things. They're horrible, horrible, horrible things. Beauty is the 'In' thing, always!

Oh, God.. Prepare yourself.

If all the ugly things in this world are gotten rid of, the world will be a beautiful place! I will personally head the team that will go eliminate the threats of ugliness! Haa~~ How I wish to go out now and hunt out those threats. My starting point: a certain ugly person living in the outskirts of the Seireitei who once threw a BOMB into my beautiful FACE!

Calm down already, Yumichika.

Calm down? How can I calm down at a time like - !

Okay, dude, next question.

…

Ta! Yachiru?

(laughs) Ikkaku's scared of her!

I AM NOT!

Yachiru likes to call him names! What are they again?

Don't go there, Yumichika..

There was baldy, pachinko ball…

Why you!

Ahahaha! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! (mumbles) Cut me off earlier, didn't you… Serves you right…

What did you say?

Aa aa nothing nothing!

…

Eleventh company is the company where REAL men gather! Our captain is the strongest captain in the Thirteen Court Guards! It's an honor being able to fight under him!

Yes, that is true. (nods)

We are the company where only the Art of the Sword is used. We look down on those Kido users and such. We use brute strength instead of tricks.

Hai hai. Very true. (nods some more)

…

(both stiffen)

WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?

Naa, Ikkaku. Calm down. But, yes. Where did you hear that?

…

Me? Having Bankai? T-that's ridiculous!

…

Who said it was true? (glare)

…

You'd better not mention this to anyone, even though I'm saying that I DO NOT have a Bankai. I'll hunt you down first if I hear rumors going around!

On to other things…

…

Aah! Ichigo and Co., huh?

…

Technically, we didn't fight side by side with them, right, Ikkaku?

Ou.

But they're strong people. Especially that Ichigo. He fights like a maniac sometimes. That's why Taichou wants repeated rematches with Ichigo.

Ichigo's too scared to fight with Taichou again. That's why he never stays around Taichou. He practically gives a one mile radius around Taichou.

Hmm hmm. True.

Oh, wait. Is that…?

Aah! Yes it is! There's Ichigo and his friends.

Yeah. I'm done here. Go and interview them. See ya.

Oi! Ikkaku! Wait up! Oh! Here's a token of my appreciation for interviewing us! And make sure you put out interviewer in your bulletin!

(throws something to interviewer)

Interviewer opens the small sack and takes out a small cosmetics set. A note drops out:

_Be careful I don't eliminate you too._

Interviewer: (sweat drop)

XXX

**A/N: Ikkaku and Yumichika! Finished!**

**This was done in a rush, so it's not very good. Hope you like it though!**

**To all reviewers: Thank you again for reviewing! And thanks for your suggestions! Expect Hitsugaya, Hiyori, Shinji, Urahara and Renji in the future. They'll pop up sooner or later :D**


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